Luardos

The Stylist Mag - She HUNGREY!

2011-12-09T06:05:00.000-08:00

Lovely little piece in the Stylist Magazine all about one lady's daily eating habits. It's a bit like those programmes on tele where they ask you to write down exactly what you eat in a week and then they put it all in a see through bag and show you and everyone feels sick.

Bit like that, except we don't see the bag, we just see this lady (Let's call her Penny) stood in front of her favourite places lookin all cool and stylin'..

05:13 and while the friendly milkman hops off to deliver Mrs Evan's daily order, Penny jumps on board and helps herself to a pint of gold top. Charming.

Check it. It's 09:11 and a much healthier shout from Penny! Looks like she's gonna have some williams pears, oranges and apples.

Ahhh... what's this? 12:30 and Penny's getting a Burrito from Luardos on Whitecross Street Market!! (clap, clap, clap). Fair play Pen (!), You got rice and beans; the perfect combonation of protein providing all the essential amino acids (Who knew?), Tomatoes; they contain lycopene - great for preventing prostate cancer. Perfect. Avocados; "It's good fats" they can help lower cholesterol levels, Iceberg Lettuce; contains Lactucarium "Lettuce Opium" - helps you get to sleep... surely not the cause of the Burrito coma!? And Capsaicum; contains an anti fungal agent.

Right.. Penny had a burrito at 12.30. I don't know about you but that normally keeps me going until at least 6 or 7 pm. It's 16:23 Penny! Why you lookin at RICE?? Also, why you lookin all crazy like that? What happened this afternoon?

19:17: Man down. I think we've lost her. She's sitting on the counter in the Fryer's Delight scoffing a bag of Rock and large chips with extra saveloy and (bleeugh...) pickled egg vinegar!

Once you pop, you can't stop. 23:48 and after a pint of cream/milk, 2 crates of fruit, 2 full takeaway meals and who knows how much Pure Basmati, Penny tucks into a salt beef beigel with mustard and gherkins. Go to bed Penny. Only 5 hours till milk time!

Thank you to Lee Jenkins (Great photos!) and everyone at the Stylist.

Mary get's an INSA makeover...

2011-12-08T09:08:00.000-08:00

You may or may not know this but Luardos has recently doubled it's fleet... Jesus finally has a partner - her name: Mary! She'd been sporting a slightly weak salmon pink get up for a while and it was time to "Pimp dat Riiide". Who ya gonna call? Well, international booty freak - INSA!

So Mary is the van and INSA is the man. In every sense of the word. I guess. He started on the back which pretty much HAD to have a massive picture of The Virgin Mary praying to he roses. "What's that crown there for INSA?" "Cos you're the king of burritos!" "Oh yeah."

And then onto this side and this incredibly attractive young lady who appears to be eating a cool original dorito. Or it might be a dairylee.

Then on to the other side and this pair of mysterious DOTD ladies. "Do you think one of them should be smoking a big spliff?" "Yeah, I reckon" "And shall we do some ganja leaves down here" "Ok"

"Ummm, can you stop painting pictures on your stupid van now and make me a sandwich!!"

Paint job done and it needed a heavy coat of 2 part lacquer to try and seal it all in and get it looking all shiney!

This is after coat 2.

Keith from The Prodigy doing his special hands dance

Think this was coat 5! Hoping and praying that it's enough to seal the paint in for at least a couple of years.

Mary down at Kings Cross at the Eat St Market. Massive thank you to INSA for painting another Luardos van and for making me feel even more ridiculous when driving around.

Check out INSA's blog at www.insaland.co.uk. Toot! toot!

Jason Bruges New Studio Opening Party

2011-12-05T12:22:00.000-08:00

I cant remember when... sometime in September.. we did a party for Jason Bruges Studios who were celebrating the opening of a new studio where they do cool stuff with lights and choose to reveal cars with CRAZY techniques like this Aston up here - most people just pull a cloth. Damn!

They also chose to eat hella tasty food at their party. Here's some pics.

I don't know if anyone ate one of those chillies in the salsa but if you know what they are you know you don't want to! We made some salsas and guacamole and sour cream to have w/ tortilla chips, then chipotle brisket and blackened salsa chicken thigh tacos and later on some black bean and chorizo ones. Ouch!

And everyone there had fun and got drunk and played table tennis and listened to the err.. band.

Here's what the managing dude Darren had to say:

"Hi Simon, just a quick thank you to you and your team last night at the party. We’ve had fantastically positive feedback from our guests about the night and the food!"

Reee-joice!

Yeah! So we can do parties now! If you want it, send us a message in the "contact" bit. Thanks!

End of the Road 2011

2011-12-05T11:30:00.000-08:00

... was a winner! Here's a few pics:

How to make a Luardos banner by Bella Pace

2011-12-05T11:10:00.001-08:00

Step 1: draw some fancy letters on some squares... preparation is key.

Step 2: Get yourself some tools. Man the hell up!

Step 3: dum dee dum dee duummm...

Step 4: .. rum pee dum pee dooo...

Step 5: ... clam pee dam pee brrrrum!!..

Step 6: Yeah. You cut it out using the squares and the drawings and the clamps and the jigsky. Bella Pace did it. She makes all sorts of signs, menu boards, or anything else like that. She daaamn good too! Check out her and her friend Harriet's website http://goodbyandspeed.com/(they do alot of our stuff..)

Step 7: Kinda don't really need these step by step things here. You can work it out by the pictures eh.

Step 8: Delicious!

Mary (LuarDOS) Hits the Streezies!!

2011-08-23T05:55:00.000-07:00

Never thought it would happen but a second Luardos van, Mary aka LuarDOS aka Lily the Pink aka Our Lady Guadaloupe aka One in the P... WHATEVER!! She's finally hit the streets of London sporting a salmon pink get up and some serious Bella Pace decor. Hail Mary!!!

I picked her up in Dorset last Thursday. I wasn't quite ready for the colour and I couldn't quite handle it for a while. Found solidarity at a petrol station in Melplash which helped...

She made it back to London in one big pink piece and the next day we were down at the Southbank prepping, for the first time, FISH TACOS! They're sooo good! Crispy battered Coley (pretty much straight from the ocean - they were caught the evening before), "special" sauce (mayo, yogurt, lime juice, paprika), avocado and mango chunks, fresh jalapenos, coriander and shredded cabbage. Very simple. We'd done a fair bit of practice at home...

Resident artiste Bella Pace was on hand to knock up a menu board...

... and some other noice little touches.. "What's a Badger-Fish Tacos?"

All in all it was a lovely little intro to Mary's free and easy new life on the road selling all sort of Mexican delights.. The Real Food Festival is brilliant little food market and the Southbank a happy buzzing spot to hang out on the weekend. Basically - come there this weekend, bank holiday special, and drink beer and eat tacos, or lobster, or ox cheek, or brownie fudge sundaes, or paella, or Indian burgers! And drink beer. And eat tacos.. We're there Fri 26th Aug - Mon 29th!

Sunset in Dalson on the way home was nice too...

Luardos Sponsors the New Cross Juniors

2011-08-10T08:49:00.000-07:00

So we decided that we needed our name on a hideous fleuro yellow football shirt... Enter the New Cross Juniors!

Modelled here by the beautiful Toby. You can see the team play at Mile End Stadium every Thursday night but trust me you don't want to.

Camp Bestival 2011

2011-08-10T03:54:00.000-07:00

Hoorah! Back at Camp Bestival... this one one of the most colourful, party party- festivals last year and this year was more of the same. We were in the Kid's Garden again which shuts at 10pm so we ALL night to rave/sleep! It was also the first time out for LuarDOS - aka Mary. Our new VAN!!

Well.. she's grey here but she's gonna be pink! After a bit of makeshift banner work and some high speed menu board painting (Thanks Bella and Harriet) we were good to go

Joined by Dave from A Human and the golden couple.. Ollie and Amy. Dave was cool. The other two made me feel a bit sick..

\

Not really. We had an amazing crew, business boomed and the sun came out at least once.

Shortly after this pic was taken we saw Janeeiene from Eastenders (Charlie Brooks) wandering around the site in a right state. She stopped us and asked (in a proper East End voice) "Please! Have you seen my baby?? I've lost my baby!!". Well wierd. We served her the next day and she'd calmed down alot... guess she found her baby.

Love Camp Bestival

Blissfields 2011

2011-08-10T03:23:00.001-07:00

Glastonbury 2011

2011-08-09T13:05:00.001-07:00

Old News

2011-08-09T12:28:00.000-07:00

Was looking through a drawer and found some old bits of press. Some of it's well old!

This first one features the original wrap master Bella Pace.. guess which one she is! (CLUE: She's at the top, in the middle. She's the one who really likes The Doors!)

Great pic of the van. Awful pic of Simon. I look better this way up.

Time Out's round up of London markets..

More recent piece from ES mag... nice, we're under Q, for Queues!

Damn those paparazzi!!

2011-08-09T12:09:00.000-07:00

Really really crazy to be in the OFM... a sign of everyone buzzing about street food which is WICKED especially if you're rollin with Eat Street. www.eat.st. Feel very lucky to be included among some amazing other traders.

The Thames Festival September 2010 (!!!)

2011-08-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

Okaii.. this is from a long time ago but hey. I love the Thames Festival. In our first year of trading an angry farmer drove our hired fridge van into a tree and caused £2000 damage which we had to pay for. If it wasn't for the Thames Festival a few weeks later we probably would have gone under. So thank you Barney (the organiser) and London and all your tourists!!

This year Whitecross Street Market did the festival as a collective.. We had Hoxton Beach on one side of us blaring out really bad music (I cant remember what.. might have been a Jason Derulo remix of Jai Ho or something) and feeding us amazing Lebanese breakfasts. Here's Hussain looking sexy while Rashid and Dan take pictures of Sarah and a blow up sex doll (she later bacame Lucho Lucy)

Driving along the Southbank was fun...

We arrived pretty early at our pitch...

Maybe a bit too early for some people...

Lady and the Tramps

Nighttime come and the van got lit up like a christmas tree..

We were joined by Lucho Lucy, sat in the front acting as our bodyguard. I wouldn't mess with her! Se's got a horribly dirty mouth and literally no shame (she ended up in a tree.. or maybe Frank took her home, I can't remember)

We were also joined by our good friend Virginie Foucard (middle - obvs) who is an incredible opera singer. On Saturday night she just started belting out a tune mid burrito flow - here's the youtube link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VopikIFJabc She's got some lungs on 'er that girl!!

Jeremy had a go too but he was CRAP. The cat liked it.

See you back there this year! Hopefully it won't take almost a year to blog about it this time. We're gonna be working with a collective called Eat St this year and will be just outside Tate Modern. Come get some!!!

Our New Menu... starting 16th MAY 2011

2011-05-04T11:20:00.000-07:00

Hello, here's a little something something to let you know of the changes afoot in May. The "New Menu" will be starting on Monday 16th May 2011 and is the first time we'll be selling the beef chilli with chorizo since 2007!! It's frickin' A, you should try it...

Thanks for being you x

P.S. We FINALLY have some boxes so you can have tortillaless burritos. Sorry it's taken so long...

Offset

2010-09-09T09:20:00.000-07:00

Q: Why are vegans so angry?

This festival was a jawdropping, senses repulsing mix of some of the worst sound my poor little noise holes have ever had the misfortune of ingesting. Our pitch made up the unfortunate third point in the axis of evil, that also included the main stage and the hardcore tent. With the likes of 'Wet Dog' and 'Hang the bastard' vomiting out their vitriolic nonsense, we were truly stuck in a nightmarish crossing of the beams, 'The Vortex of Hate'.

The weather was nice though.

And we were right nextdoor to Dan the juice man (Elephant Juice) from Whitecross Street.

With an initial crew of only five this time round, the pressure was on and time for breaks was limited. Ollie and Harriet easily overcame this problem by sharing meals, lady and the tramp stylee. Who knows what happened when they got to the middle...

This photo is in no way linked to the previous one except to say that making vast numbers of burritos with limited staff takes its toll even on our hardcorest of workers.

So in sumnation. With the exception of Caribou, Mystery Jets and a spackling of other performers, the music was aweful from where I was standing. The people, however, were lovely. All tattooed hipster types, but majoritarily really good sorts. Apart from the filthy thieving bastard who stole our newly aquired wrestling cat. Mexican Pussy was cruely catnapped at around 10:30 on the saturday night. Any information leading to the whereabouts of our beloved family member will be met with surprise, initially and then overwhelming joy and then... well anyway there are seven stages.

A: They aren't really. Just the German ones who were performing in the Hardcore tent and only really their lyrics. They seemed very personable when ordering their dinner.

Pssst!!! see you all at Thames Festival this Saturday and Sunday. Gives you all a chance to show off your favourite burritos to friends and family who might not otherwise get the chance to experience such culinary delights

Festinho

2010-09-07T08:27:00.000-07:00

Festinho, in the heart of Bedfordshire, was set up in order to help the poor children of Brazil through the ABC Trust. This is obviously no easy task as there are a shiteload of 'em, however, it is a task that the Luardos essays were willing to lend their able bodies to. Of course we were going to come through for our favela dwelling underprivileged cousins.

Unfortunately there was a pretty hefty spanner thrown in the works on day one and by one of our own. Petrol does not go in a diesel engine Lovell you muppet.

We did manage to get all vehicles and deliveries on site eventually, but were then met with the rather depressing prospect of setting up in the rain.We were eventually rewarded with gloroius sunshine and our very own seating area. Bums on seats and burritos in mouths. Good thing really, we were as isolated as Saddam in his cave.

Although we were the only traders for some distance we managed to keep morale high and prevent ourselves from being swallowed up in a pit of loneliness by massively overstaffing. Ten burritoistas was in no way too many. And with the blooding of four new members (Amy, Brittany, China and Katie) the end of season party is really looking like much less of a sausage-fest (not the kind of festival you want to finish the year off with)

Business was good and we even managed to get some of the kids hooked on our wares. "Get 'em young" as El Numerico likes to say.

Once hooked it was easy to get the kids to work

WASPS!!

Unbelievably there were more of the pesky beasts here than at Standon. I obliterated 64 in two days using a variety of different methods and Tom even designed his own deathbringer, "Whispring Death" was born

Lovell wasn't interested in killing and instead decided to make up for his earlier mishap with a spot of fancy dress tomfoolery. The children had already left at this point so Lovells visible wasp stings couldn't offend.

Tom was not to be outdone. 'Team Porn' was the result. And the Festinho Silver Cup was rightfully awarded to the seem splitting audacity of these beautifully crafted jockey silks. Figure hugging mess.

Walk to the light my pretties there is plenty for everyone in Jesus H-Van.

Standon Calling

2010-08-25T08:56:00.000-07:00

Hello People. Standon calling was within spitting distance of London. Just a quick, and mildly perilous, jaunt up th A10 and we were knee deep in our sixth festival of the season. Luardos was really entering into the world of the unknown ths time when we were joined by Burrito debutants; Gini and Ellie. However, having assessed their performances over the entire festival, we have since decided to set up a recruitment agency. 'Luardos Angels' should be up and running by the new year.

Things took a turn for the worse early doors in the fields of Standon and some live action scenes, that would have had Alfred Hitchcock bricking it, led Gini to head for the hills. 'The Wasps' could have been an instant internet success if we weren't so busy avoiding the little bastards. (I f***ing hate wasps)

El Gremlo and El Numerico weren't afraid. Of course they weren't, thems some damn hardcore mexican wrestlers. They were just busy during the day that's the only reason they waited until nightfall to show their handsome selves.

With some very rare footage here, we see the Luardos boys having a rare moment of kinsmanship in a rave situation. Lovely to see.

Lambibal Lecter joined in on the action and decided that Chianti would not do as a lubricant for his recently devoured burrito (oddly veggie) and instead opted to imbibe lager in order that he may aide his deglutition.

Sarah pulled som green bloke. Whatevs.

(not really)

After the anarchic degradation of the previous night, Simon was left feeling a little worse for warewolf and more than a little confused. Had this really happened? Where was he and where was everyone else?

...and what the hell had those damned wasps done to Jesus H-vans tyres? Punctured two of his little padders with their poisonous bum-spears. Mark my words wasps your pointless existence will come to an end soon and the corpse of one of your fallen chieftains that I found in my can of pop is just a harbinger of things to come.

Sorry. Anyway, it was a great festival and everyone loved it. We will definitely be back next year. OH FO SHIZZLE!!!

Camp Bestival

2010-08-04T05:00:00.000-07:00

It was Wednesday the 28th of July and the eight intrepid burritoistas travelled down to Wool in Dorset for the eagerly anticipated Camp Bestival festival. The crew dem included two spanking new members in the shape of Matt and John 'The Brizzle boys'

Our pitch, situated in the family field, was a long long way from the real action, but we ploughed into our preparations with gay abandon. After a fairly chilled out day of lime juicing, tin foil ripping and other necessary tasks the nefarious Luardos gang headed to the pub for a spot of dindins. The calm before the storm was in full effect.

After a fairly slow start to the day a queue soon grew. Coinciding with the amazing insect circus performance two doors down from us. Human sized insects spinning around, attacking each other and puting the frighteners up the children obviously sewed the hunger seed into everyone's bellies

The queue was expunged, which gave us a little time for some arts and crafts...

...even El Gremlo got in on the action

Then, out of nowhere, new boy John pulls out all the stops and enters Jesus H-van in this crazy get up. Our main man Ganesha representing hard. Removing fruit from the fridge and enabling a delicious Jug O' Pimms (TM)

The standard, having been firmly set, was then immitated by the other dedicated followers of facepaint

The light started to fade on what was another delightful festival experience and the raindrops glistened on the roof of the big top. The Luardos lads and gals packed up and readied themselves for the big off

"On the road again, I just can't wait to be on the road again..." (whistle to close)

psst! see y'all at 'Standon Calling'.

x

Lovebox

2010-07-27T06:51:00.000-07:00

The Lovebox Festival proved to be a lot of hard work, with queues extending thirty deep from opening, until the licensing nazi's shut everyone down at 10 o'clock. Of course the happy go lucky Luardos crew remained stoic throughtout

John went a bit bong-eyed towards the end as the pressure mounted and tortilla supplies dwindled to nothing

(MORE TO FOLLOW)

'Blissfields'

2010-07-14T09:41:00.000-07:00

And so to Bradley Farm in Hampshire for an intimate family run festival. Blissfields' 10th anniversary celebrations brought with them a bumper crowd of 1,800 party animals and the flags were sure flying proudly to welcome all

The Luardos crew were, as usual, in fine fettle. Looking good and feeling dandy

Johnny boy was incredibly excited to meet Sean Astin from the Lord of the rings films. Sean was equally excited to learn that he now holds the record for most burritos eaten in a weekend, with 12. Yeah 12. Challengers show yourselves!!

The infamous el numerico even turned up to show us his moves

Then of course the facepainting began and shizzle really started getting serious. Ollie got himself a campfie on his face. As you do

and Betsy decided that she wanted to try out for the upcoming James Cameron extravaganza: "Avatar 2 - Attack of the Cats"

The most rediculous Law (Jude) poked his little face in the van. The cheeky blighter wanted to take a dip in our bean pot, but we told him to sling his hook

Wonder Woman

Jesus

Ghostbusters. Pretty much what you'd expect

Police. oh SH!T!!! THE ACTUAL POLICE. Time to shut up shop

Until next year 'Blissfields' from the entire Luardos family, we bid a very fond farewell. Peace out

'Lounge on the Farm'

2010-07-13T07:27:00.000-07:00

So... Another weekend another amazing festival experience. This time the destination was the deepest, darkest depths of rural Canterbury. Jesus the H-Van arrives in a cloud of dust as if he was the roadrunner on speed

Simon gets the action started with a fricky f-fresh, new porno tash. Let the games begin!

As we all know, the purpose of these little escapades into the countryside is to spread the word of Luardos. Good, healthy food, happy people, and of course... facepaint wherever possible

If only we had nice grass to sit on down at Whitecross street, then we could admire our happy customers really enjoying their meals first hand. For now we will just have to make do with photo evidence

Word quickly spread throughout the festival about the mystical H-van and soon admirers were being drawn in. Like these strange little fellas

...and as night fell the more dangerous elements began to raise their mischievous heads. A couple of Bandits arrived with mayhem in mind

Unfortunately this affected the Luardos crew in a big way and they ended up getting proper rowdy

The final straw that broke the little donkey's back however, came when the Churros bros', from the van nextdoor, tagged poor Harriet with a chocolate 'Sanchez'

And this brings another wicked weekend to a close. Next destination:

LOVEBOX BABY!!!

Weeee're.... Off to Festivales!

2010-06-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

Sorry its been a long time since the last blog... Since then there's been a few things happening:

The "New Habanero Salsa" is now a "New Habanero Sauce". Boom-ting!! Its very very good and adds a naughty new kick to proceedings.

We have a new guacamole! Its based on a recipe we learnt in Mexico and has, amongst other ingredients, a blend of garlic, red onions, fresh jalapenos and fresh coriander! It's A Mazing! We still have some of the original guac for people who have afternoon meetings and are worried about their breath smelling of garlic. Or Whatever.

We are in July's edition of Delicious magazine along with "Glamour Puss" Petra Barren from Choc Star!

Finally, the big news, we are off on a little tour of festivals this summer starting at Blissfields this weekend (2nd-4th July). It's then off to Kent for Lounge on the Farm (9th-11th July) and back to London for Lovebox (16th-18th July).

This is going to mean no burritos on Whitecross Street for a while..(!) We should be back on Tuesday 20th July.

Keep checking for updates and a new Festivals section coming soon.

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2010-04-30T07:03:00.001-07:00

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Guardian Online

2010-02-25T14:59:00.000-08:00

Oh Noooo!!!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/video/2010/feb/25/london-street-food-guide

We're on the front frickin page of Guardian Online, talking absolute rubbish. Luckily Petra Barren, founder of ChocStar and big inspiration for starting Luardos, was on it too talking alot more sense.

Big Sarah is Watching!

2010-02-04T10:02:00.000-08:00

What he was thinking: "Ok, so this is strange. She's STILL looking at me! Why is she doing this? This is wierd, these guys are WIERD. I gotta get out of here, it's freaking me out. I'm getting all clammy. I'll just say something funny and go.. I can think about it all later in depth. Back at my place.. wherever THAT is!

What he was seeing: Uh-Oh! It's the new Luardos err... massive-face picture board. Noone really knows what she's doing there but she says she's gonna stick around, and just watch, and smile. No, I'm not sure I trust her either.

Thank you Mr INSA for this. It's all lies, we absolutely love it!

New Habanero Salsa - Ouch!

2010-02-04T09:37:00.000-08:00

It's cold out. So we get a load of these babies...

And we blend 'em up reet nice and put them in this..!

Boom! It's the new habanero salsa! (clap) It's just like the old salsa, which we still have lots of, but it's got habaneros in it. Simples! If you wanna try some please ask and we'll hot you up in this very chilly of winters.

Raisin' the ROOF!

2010-02-02T09:04:00.000-08:00

So... Happy 2010! We're (finally) back at Whitecross Street and we have a brand new roof! After 3 years of stooping and sore backs we had the roof cut off and permanently raised by 8 inches. Here's a pic of the man who gave us those precious inches!(?)

Thank you Mr. Mark Haynes and his son Max from Embers Catering in Chepstow.

INSA: H Van and High Heels

2009-12-05T08:11:00.000-08:00

London graf artist and "friend of the van" INSA is the man behind the van and menu board artwork...

And look! he made some high heels to match the van.

Check out his blog at http://www.insaland.com and look out for a special Luardos piece coming from him soon. Get very excited!

9 September 2009 - Aaron Craze comes to town...

2009-10-07T10:07:00.000-07:00

So... Mr Aaron Craze, Fifteeen graduate and ex owner of The Cock Inn came down to the van to see what's going on. He was filming for his new show that comes out on UKTV Living called Rudeboy Food and was looking for some tips from the original rudeboys (and rudegirl) on how to make burritos for his poker buddies.

He did us a wicked velociraptor impression!

And then they got some AWESOME shots of the back of John's head and his neck.

Luardo's arch enemy, El Mathematico turned up and tried to steal the show with a sexy pole dance.

But, luckily, Aaron was more interested in listening to John talk about his views on the perfect burrito. A pretty serious topic..

Loyalty Cards - Skull Duggery

2009-10-07T10:01:00.000-07:00

You can get one of these!! All you need do is ask. Then just keep buying burritos until your card is full of skulls and we'll give you a free burrito. It's sooo easy!

Jesus likes Jesus - Christmas 2008

2009-10-05T15:12:00.000-07:00

So, a friend of mine, called Jesus, took some pictures of the van with his expensive camera and sweet photography skills. I love them. You can make them bigger by clicking on them. Thanks Jesus!

Luardos Mexico Trip - January 2009

2009-10-05T14:32:00.000-07:00

So... 2 years on and , via some serious engine trouble, some angry farmyard incidents and some bleak trading times, Luardos has somehow found itself with a Monday-Friday pitch at Whitecross Street Market and a with a wonderful bunch of regular customers.

And I guess then it was time to go to the motherland and see how its really done!

Here's a few highlights:

Knocking up some tacos. These guys had skills... his hands didnt stop moving - flippin and filling tacos whilst moving that pile of meat and onions around (all with his hands). She was busy plating up and taking orders and cash off the customerinos.

Sweet lord they were good! This was in Oaxaca and those things in the middle were fried spring onions, cooked slowly until they were sweet and juicy. You can rip 'em up and add them to the tacos, along with a big squeeze of lime. I ate them at a little table they had by the stand.

It's pretty mad out there... like, noone has tumble dryers cos they dont really need them cos it's so hot and your colourful pants dry really quick in the sun, if you hang them up. In the street. Like these guys did!

Me and Legoton enjoyed a few Margaritas..

... and ate a few chaupalinas (fried grasshoppers!) ...

The ONLY burrito I came across in Mexico was in Maccy D's! I didnt have time to try it. Good. I looked rank!

Finally... awesome grilled meat stand in the undercover food market in Oaxaca (I spent a lot of time there). You pick your raw meat and they grill it for you on open flames. It comes served with guacamole, pico salsa, cactus leaves, fresh lime and a pile of tortillas. A. Mazing.

16 May 2007 - Live!

2009-10-04T15:29:00.000-07:00

Ok.. Luardos is Live-O.

Had my first day trading at Brick Lane about 4 weeks ago and have since traded at Greenwich Market on Saturdays and Brick Lane on Sundays.

My first day: Sunday 22nd April.

My first day was ridiculous. I had done a few practice runs cooking for friends and family and all had gone really well. I have a chargrill in my van which is basically a gas burner below some charcoals and a grill. It's like a bar-b-q. I didn't have an extractor fan fitted.

Imagine having a bar-b-q in your kitchen.

People were outside the van looking hungry... I got my marinated chicken and steaks and slapped them on the chargrill. It started getting a bit smokey. When they were cooked I took them off, sliced them up and put them in fresh quesadillas and tacos. They were delicious and people loved them... so I cooked some more. Everytime I put some meat on the chargrill flames would leap out fuelled by the oil and spices in the marinade. My eyes were streaming and the van was filling up with smoke. I heard orders coming in but couldn't see from where. "Who said that?". Some fella ran up to the van - "I think you're on fire mate! Want me to call the fire brigade?"

It was the most stressful day of my life but incredibly rewarding in the end. Luckily I had my girlfriend Lianna there to help who was brilliant and who I would have been lost without. We realised that certain things weren't working and changed them around and in the end just about broke even. Learnt a hell of alot for the next time.

The next time was a party in a bar called Corbet Place... the "Bent and Blessed all-dayer" - It was wicked! Here are some photos:

Thank you John and Selina for the outstanding cooking and table service skills.

Since then it's been hard.. last weekend it rained constantly and trade was quiet. This weekend looks looks like it's gonna rain again. What happened to global warming?? I'm gonna start leaving the tap on when I brush my teeth and stop recycling. And wash all my pants on separate cycles. (Easy Ken.. not really).

I'm actually going to start temping to get cash to pay my rent while I work out somewhere to trade during the week. I reckon more trading days is really the only way of eliminating the gamble with the Great British weather.

On the plus side though I've got another festi booked in June called the Charlbury Riverside Festival (www.riversidefestival.charlbury.com) and a spot in the Whitecross Food Festival (www.whitecrossstreetmarket.co.uk) in the first weekend of June. Check it out, looks amazing! Plus there's another Bent and Blessed all-dayer on Sunday June 3rd. Praying for another sunny day. Waiting for confirmation on another festival called Bloom (www.bloomfestival.com) in August which looks like a winner.

Massive thanks to all my friend who have been unbelievably helpful and supportive. Special thanks to Insa for all his genius.

19 February 2007 - I'm gonna have a cuppa now.

2009-10-04T15:11:00.000-07:00

Oh Hello,

Sorry, far too long for a blog. Check out my ESSAY!

The Festivals! -

Spent a fair portion of the last 6 weeks looking into festivals, writing to organisers and sending off applications. Was incredibly daunting to start with.. I had no idea whether any of them would be interested as the van isn't actually ready and i'm still yet to trade anywhere. The response i've had has been quality though! Have been accepted into two so far and am waiting to hear from lots of others.

I've decided to steer clear of the massive festis that charge high prices for pitches. At the moment, the first one i'm doing is a tiny one in Hampshire which has 1000 people attending and only 3 or 4 food traders. The other one is a 15,000 person 7 stage rave up in Suffolk! My back yard. Definately gonna take my white gloves, glow sticks and luminous postman's jacket and invite all my toothless 3-fingered friends and relations (of which I have many).

My dad.

Other Trading Spots -

I've spoken to a lady down at Brick Lane about the Sunday market. She seemed very positive and fingers (all 3 of 'em) crossed i'll be allowed to trade there once i'm ready. Been thinking about getting local artists/ local school kids to paint my weekly menu. I'd give them the food description, prices and a colour scheme... they do the rest. Will have to see if this can work but i reckon it can.

Midweek?? I LOVE the idea of rocking up to an "out of the city" spot like Hackney and selling office people their lunch. It'd need to be advertised right and done in a way where I sell alot in a short space of time (I think you only get 20 minutes in one place by law). The alternative is markets but they can be difficult to get into. Need to work this one out.

I've spoken to people who organise H van rally's and I'm going to do a couple this year. I'll be able to trade as well which is a bonus. There's one 11-13 May in Dorset which may well be my first gig.

The Van -

Good and bad news. I drove Jesus H Van to Chepstow to meet her maker. He's called Mark Haynes and he and his son Max convert vans. They're called Embers (www.http://www.emberscatequip.com/) and are based in Chepstow. It's a long drive and I was worried that Jesu might not make it. I shouldnt have been, she did amazingly! Made it all the way there for Mark to check her out and back to Colchester. Then back to Chepstow the following weekend to be converted once i decided to use Embers.

Driving her is a bit like being in a small aircraft but much slower. If you shout, you can just about have a conversation with the person in the passenger seat. Earplugs are essential. Lorries went past me in a blur. I overtook a broken down vehicle and one that had crashed, that was it. Lots of people smiled and waved. Some swore at me. I got egged in Reading by children and screamed at in Marlow by drunk girls. None of this is the bad news (I consider most of it very good!).

The bad news is that my van poisons me with carbon monoxide. The exhaust pipe runs underneath the body and the fumes get sucked up in air currents and enter my cab through the side window. I had the side window open the whole way.. cos i could smell fumes ;o) I didnt die or anything but it screwed me up for a couple of days after the second drive. Memory was shot to bits and I felt delerious and paranoid. Wierd. Luckily it'll be fixed in Chepstow and should be fine after that.

The good news is basically everything else. I went to see the van this weekend just gone and she's looking sweet. Mark and his son seem to take great pride in their work and they've made good progress on the conversion. Should be ready by the end of Feb.

The Food -

This is the area I am most excited by and currently my biggest concern by far. I've got a festival menu planned and in theory I can produce outstanding food at a fast rate. This has only been vaguely tested in practice though. Until I get the van I wont be able to know for sure. The worst thing that can happen though is that the menu changes slightly - no big deal.

By far and away the most crucial thing with food is that it is safe to eat. Giving someone food poisoning is the worst thing that can happen to a caterer so I've been giving this alot of attention. I've produced a hazard analysis for catering at festivals and am going to use a pack called Safer Food, Better Business (SFBB) which the Food Standards Agency have kindly sent me. Noone's gonna end up like Kenny

Everything seems to be going well. As it becomes more real I get more nervous and excited. I've had doubts about certain things but the doubts have all just turned into questions that need to be answered. Still a long old way to go.

15 January 2007 - What have I done?!?!?

2009-10-04T15:05:00.000-07:00

That's not a cry of anguish... i just cant remember what I've been doing for the last few weeks.

Let me think.

Jesus is running!! She sounds pretty good and seems in good order though I admit to knowing very little about old French vehicles - maybe she'll blow up tomorrow! The guy who fixed her has been quality.. fixing her up pretty cheap, giving advice on painting and generally being a good bloke.

So I tried to insure her the other day... you need to do that before you register a foreign vehicle in the UK. I've never had my own policy and have a massive ugly blemish on my driving licence (young and foolish). First quote i got was for £2600 quid! No sympathy. Next one told me £1200. Nice. Shopped around a little more and am now insured fully comp for £800. Happy.

All sorts of other stuff happening but I've talked it through with so many people and thought stuff over in my own head that it slightly hurts my brain now to think about it.

I've decided on a name!

"Luardos"

My cousin called me the other night, slightly drunk, telling me that I HAD to call it "Dirty Sanchez".

This was him...

"Imagine.. you're with your mates, you see this van, you go over, get a fat steak burrito, eat it, go back to your mates - "I just got a dirty sanchez!". And they're all like "Wooah, I want one".

God I would love to call it Dirty Sanchez. Make the meatiest tortilla wraps you ever saw and hand out free scratch and sniff tashes. I cant though. Am too scared.

It's been alot of fun so far and am still nowhere near being set up and running. Hard work as well - I've been working a 50 hour a week removals job and working on Luardos in the evenings and at weekends. Friends have been brilliant! Just hope that the end result is worth all the effort.

27 December 2006 - Happy Christmas!

2009-10-04T15:03:00.000-07:00

Ok.

Jesus has arrived!! It's really good to finally have her and she is looking in good nick for such an old dog (35 years old!).

She's a bit sick though.

My dad tried to start her the other day and the ignition got stuck and the engine kept turning over without actually starting. This went on until my dad disconnected the battery. I wasn't actually there.. apparently it sounded horrific.. like a large animal dying.

The good news is that there's a lovely guy called Doug who fixes them and lives 10 minutes down the road! I went to see him today and he's gonna have a look at her this week. He also lent me a book and his wife showed me the H Van tattoo on her left butt cheek! Beautiful.

I'm kinda getting on the case as well.. made a long list of thing I need to do before I can start trading. It's long and there's a couple of things in there that worry me slightly but I think it's manageable. Having looked at the inside of the van I'va also rethought my conversion strategy. Rather than pay a conversion firm £3000+ to do it I think it can be done by contracting work out to wise men (electricians, carpenters etc).

Happy Christmas everyone! Please let me know of any comments you have.

Simon

19 December 2006 - Jesus Is Coming

2009-10-04T14:58:00.000-07:00

I'll be brief.

Jesus, my new van/friend (full name: Jesus H Van) is arriving at my house tomorrow. After about two months of complications and frustration she will be arriving on my doorstep at 8.30 tomorrow morning to be met by a wad of notes (plus maybe some fish and bread: "go on, do that trick again, I dare ya").

This is what she should look like:

More pics and news soon. Wish me luck!

8th November 2006 - Still no van

2009-10-04T14:54:00.000-07:00

Ok... I'm just gonna use this blog as a list of things I've done (relatively little) and things I need to do (relatively loads). Maybe it'll help straighten up my twisted little cranium.

First, little update of what i've been doing:

Workwise I've been fairly busy. Got a couple of temp jobs through www.charitypeople.com. They're a really good agency who take you in for an interview first to check that you're alright and tend to google your name while you do a word processing and excel test. For most people this'd be alright.. if your name's Simon Luard, it's a bit more embarrassing.

Anyway, they get you fairly interesting work at not-for-profit organisations which is cool if your stuck for something to do for a while. Had a great day down the fostering network the other day. There was a 15 year old girl working down there.. think she had some attention difficulties. She'd jump in my seat any time I left it and when I made her get out of it she'd cover my screen in post it notes; "You're Evul", "I'm going to haunt you" "Are you in your 20s" etc... I thought that if i made her do work it might bore her into annoying someone else. I had to sort through loads of returned mail and log the reason it was returned so I made her read the reasons out. Most of the time it was "addressee has gone away". So she read 'em out.. "gone away", "gone away"... after about 5 "gone aways" in a row she stopped and said " You've got ghonorria!" really loudly. So everyone could hear. I pissed myself!

Also had my first day with the chocolate fountain company, setting up chocolate fountains at weddings/parties etc. The sweet thing about this job is that they put me through a food hygene course which I need to serve food. Cheers!

And that's it! Getting paid just enough to get by on while waiting for my van to arrive and get turned into kitchen del luardo.

So, setting up a mobile Latin American kitchen:

1. Been doing a lot of cooking. Lots of tasting evenings where mates come round and eat food. Some stuff's been pretty bad, some good and some amazing. Been learning a lot about the food from South and Central America and I absolutely love it! Hella tasty. I really need to do a lot more cooking, probably do a brief cooking course, and then decide on a few dishes that I think will work. Then source the ingredients.

A strange thing... found a cookbook in the library the other day called "The Latin American Kitchen". It's by my aunt! Elisabeth Luard. We hadn't had much contact for years but I called her up the other day to chat and she was wicked, really helpful and ready with advice. Am sure I'll be running stuff by her in the future.

2. Business account almost opened. It's fairly straightforward really. I went with Natwest cause I'm already with them and they have free banking for the first 18 months. If you're already with them it's just a case of filling out a simple form. Trouble is they ask for your trading name and...

3. I can't decide on a name! I emailed all my mates and got some outstanding suggestions such as:

Jalapedo
Gangster Wraps
Jigga Van!
The Hot Cock (?)

I'm a big fan of all these.

My (actual) top 3 at the moment are (in no particular order):

The Whole Enchilada
Tomatillo
The Salsa Bar

Would love to hear what people think of the names.

4. I really need a quality van conversion company to turn my empty van into a mobile kitchen... but I cant afford to pay them too much. Tricky. Just this second spoke to someone called Mark Haynes in Chepstow who can do it for 3,300 quid not including equiptment.. shit! That's alot.

5. Marketing stuff is going pretty well. I'm in the process of putting together a scrapbook of photos and images that I like which relate to my business, from which my friend Toby is gonna make a "design profile". Ouch. Friends are really sorting me out in terms of marketing actually. My mate from Uni, Mat, is starting up a web design company and offered to do my website for free so that he could use it as an example of his work. Another good mate, Insa, is set to paint the van once it's ready which I'm pretty excited about. Think he is as well.

6. Legalities - am gonna become a sole trader so it's fairly straightforward. I have to register with HMRC within three months of trading and i'm good to go. Just got a couple other legal issues to do with the interior of the van (health and safety requirements) and the registration of the van into the UK (it's a french van).

Then there's all sort of other random stuff.. looking for decorations, odd people to call, researching equipment (I never knew there was something called a chargrill - forget the business, I want one anyway!). The more you look and ask, the more questions come up.. it's quality! And I havnt even started yet.

Jesus! that's the longest blog ever. Sorry. Adios.

Summer 2006: First steps to setting up a mobile burrito business...!

2009-10-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

First ever blog. It's mostly about vans...

Quit my job in June 2006 cos I was pretty bored of it and couldn't face another summer in the office. Started looking for a new one; signed up to loads of agencies, monster.co.uk, guardian jobs etc.

No one would employ me though.

Apart from my parents.

And someone called Petra Barran who owned a mobile chocolate van called Jimmy! (www.chocstar.co.uk) They look a bit like this...

I told Petra that I had a van called Bertha and that maybe she could help Jimmy out at some festivals they were doing in the summer. She liked the idea. Bertha was also keen to show off her recent insa makeover (www.insaland.com):

So I worked at my parents' removal company during the week and with Petra at festivals on the weekends. I quickly realised that festival work was the best work that i had ever done and combined two things that i absolutely love.. vans and food. Over the summer i talked alot about getting my own van and selling Latin American food from it.

So. I found one on ebay and decided to buy it. Unfortunately someone from Scotland got in there first and payed the full asking price. Actually bidding on it though and being the high bidder for a while had scared the shit out of me which I kind of liked. I needed to find one that looked as good as this one though.

I remembered that someone at a festival had a Citroen H van which they sold tea and toast from. I googled them, found a dealer in France (they were never made in the UK) and he found me this one:

It looks like a storm trooper. At the moment i have a deposit down on it and, providing it passes my dealers checks, i actually buy it this weekend. That's when things get really scary. Can't wait.

Luardos.co.uk coming soon..

2009-08-05T04:05:00.001-07:00

Etc..